The first two months of the year create the space for me to think about what I want to form in my life and how I can best give my greatest gifts in the coming year. As I set my intentions, I am able to focus on laying the foundation to achieve my goals.

My approach is a simple, effective tool that I personally use each year that helps me create my path while helping me align my actions to be in integrity with my values, purpose and vision.

I have used this essential planning tool successfully for the past seven years and now wonder how I managed without it. As I work with it each January, I am able to tap into my full potential and shape the new year in a more powerful, satisfying and positive way.

Many people have asked me to share my special tool. For the first time last year, I introduced my process to a diverse group of leaders. I was thrilled to see how it changed their lives in many positive ways. Due to its success, I’ve decided to make it available again this year.

That’s why I am inviting you to join me for 21 Days to Leading with Y.E.S.: Your Extraordinary Story℠.

Here’s what you’re going to discover in 21 days:

• How your values and purpose are key to designing your 2012 strategy. You’ll see how your goals are firmly rooted in who you are and why you are here.
• How your benchmarks and rewards can keep you motivated throughout the year. You’ll find new ways to think big and aim for achievable goals that keep you inspired.
• Why envisioning how you’ll feel when you achieve your goals matters so much.

You will accomplish a great deal in a short time. Every participant will:

• Explore the story you are living now and how it may be unconsciously holding you back.
• Create a new story for the New Year (Your Extraordinary Story) to motivate you to develop your essential strategy for the year.
• Design an integrated YES plan for 2012 with your unique targets and deliverables – that inspire you to achieve more than ever before.

21 Days to Yes Is for Busy Professionals Like You.

You’ll see fast results with three 30-minute coaching calls, one per week over the three week period from February 6th to 27th. I’ll supply the tools and personally guide you through them to get you moving in 2012 so you can set and achieve amazing goals. Use them to learn how to make a bigger contribution in your world, find new meaning, reconnect to your deepest passion or anything that you dare to dream.

Sign up by January 27th to get the special rate of $199 (regularly priced at $499). But hurry, spaces are limited.

Are you in? I hope you will join me for a powerful experience to make this your best year ever! It may just be the difference between an average 2012 and a spectacular one!

To Your Success,

Well, yes, here it is my favorite time of year again. And I sure don’t need to put it in my planner to remember. I love March Madness.

For me, what March Madness does exceptionally well is to bring together the best of leadership and authentic team spirit. And watching how it all unfolds with the unpredictability of the competition brings me JOY. It’s pure poetry in motion.

During March Madness, we are able to watch how 68 teams are put to the test to show real leadership in the blink of an eye while competing under extreme pressure. Ultimately the few surviving teams emerge tested in the sweet 16, the elite eight and finally, the famous final four, and then battle it out for supremacy in one location to win it all.

How Does This Tournament Exemplify The Best Team Work?

• Selfless play. Players anticipate where to be and where to get the ball so the team has the best chance to score.
• Presence. The great players show up with heart. They display a commitment and passion for giving it their all in the moment.
• Pacing. The tournament, for those teams who make it to the finals, is still a possession by possession fast-paced game. To win, they have to play with a strategy for the long haul.

The most successful teams use communication, presence and a game plan for every contingency. Truth be told, the game is pretty simple. But trust isn’t. The greatest teams build trust with each other during practice, in the ups and downs of a game and even off the court. They trust each other to have the good of the team in mind. They trust that they’ll play with their all. And they trust they will go the extra distance.

What Does March Madness Really Mean to You?

Think about what you can do to tap into the inspiring teamwork and leadership that is on display throughout this competition. For starters, here are a few tips to make your work more fun and satisfying in your organization or company:

• Contribute to more selfless play on your team. Be it, encourage it, reward it.
• Encourage your team to show up with even more heart. Be your best each time you step into the game and feel greater satisfaction for giving it your all.
• Experience more success by playing for the long haul. Be a model for sustainability so you can perform best when competition is fierce.

Find Your Joy. And Trust.

Whether you are a March Madness fan or not, more than anything, I invite you to find YOUR true joy. That’s where you’ll make your biggest contributions – and find your most meaningful learning experience.

When you do find YOUR true joy, whatever you do, please don’t be half-hearted about it. Revel in it; relish each joyful moment; and savor the experiences that most delight and inspire you — over and over again.

Joy begets more joy — so go ahead — create more joy for you and everyone around you. It’s a magnificent element to bring to the game of life.

Be happy right now. Not later. Don’t be “happy if only.” It’s stupid to wait. and to save happiness for when everything is set. What exactly would you be waiting for? For those last ten pounds? The big gig you’re wishing comes next? Moving to where you really want to live? The partner you so dearly want? Will everything ever be perfect, just exactly as you want? Or is everything actually perfect right now. Uh – news flash. Yes it is. Love what is: your body… your work…your relationships. Right now. Be happy for the incredible experiences you have woven together to make the life that is right now. The delicious project you just completed. The freedom from the stress of not knowing. The volunteer gig you do. Be happy to generously help your colleague. You’re the happiest when you’re telling people close to you that you are happy for them. Happy with them. Happiness frees you to giggle more… to dare to laugh more often with abandon… to move around with a Cheshire cat grin.  It’s ridiculously contagious.  Share your happiness.

© 2011 Yes2Yes Company. All Rights Reserved.

This is the New Year so it’s time for a new you. Out with last year’s you and in with the new, refreshed, alive and even more positive you. Is renewing you really legit? Isn’t taking the time to renew you a little selfish? You bet but it’s selfish in the most positive “self” kind of way. Your spirit rejoices when you take the time to restore and revamp. And, rediscovering the “you” that you remember you have always really been. Not just what you do. Not just the bills you have to pay. Not all the work you must complete. Not just the things you think you should do. The kind of renewed you that is refreshed. Be rid of last year’s tired you. Renewing you restores and replenishes the core of you. You walk more. You park even further away. You want to take the stairs. You adore each deep, long breath as it restores you. You are more focused. You begin to open new doors for renewing that you didn’t know existed. You feel like you are flying. There’s a net, but you don’t need it. It’s there to make others more secure. Begin all the great stuff ahead of you in this New Year. You’re going to soar totally renewed.

© 2011 Yes2Yes Company. All Rights Reserved.

Count all the blessings you have. Think of all the wealth you possess. Seriously. Now breathe. I know all that abundance is way too much to absorb. The flood of riches in your life is kind of ridiculous when you stop to consider. Maybe that’s why you try not to notice. You’re a little embarrassed to think about how much abundance exists in your world. Or to show those around you that your abundance is way more than what you want or certainly need. So now what? You’re the living, breathing, walking and talking expression of abundance. Go ahead and appreciate all that you are — and all the abundance that providence gave you. Share it. Build upon it. Pass on your ideas. Make a difference by creating the most incredible contributions. Help the kids in your community…the homeless and others in need… and that pro bono client you care about so much. The world is so fortunate that your abundance flows. It’s the expression of your higher self…your purpose. Offer it around even more for you and the rest of us.

© 2011 Yes2Yes Company. All Rights Reserved.

Prosperity is yours for the taking yet you don’t really believe it. It’s way easier to focus on these difficult times. Yes, you lost your job. Maybe you know it’s coming. Or you’re too scared to quit and face the unknown, even though you hate each work day. How do you possibly find prosperity? It’s really simple when your prosperity is not at odds with your purpose. Your prosperity is your purpose. So you prosper by landing a new, more challenging and far more fabulous livelihood. You have to take care of others. You prosper so that others may prosper. Everything you touch has a way of becoming bigger and better than before. Something way bigger than you, that’s for sure. Your exceptional drive does make a difference. You have confidence in yourself and what is outside and beyond you. Your realm of influence expands as you move about your world with ease. Those around you also prosper beautifully in your wake. They mirror you and your effortless presence. You’re an inspiration to your boss, your kids and all the people who depend on you. It’s all good. Prosper.

© 2011 Yes2Yes Company. All Rights Reserved.

This is day one…the first day of your new year. And you want to begin again. Right? But you don’t know where to start. A year is too big. What if you don’t start where you should? Come on. You know. You’ll begin where your beginning is. No one else’s. You’ll begin exactly where you know to begin. In fact, your new beginning will free up all that energy you have stored (perhaps unwittingly) by not beginning until now. You’ve done it before and it felt so good. That’s right. It’s clearer now. Beginning now feels right. Begin to find your first speaking gig. Begin to plan a big birthday or anniversary celebration for you or for someone you love. Begin to plan your legacy. Begin blogging. Begin posting updates. Begin your resume. Begin to meditate. Begin to pray. Learn to sing. Volunteer to coach that team. Begin at the beginning at the middle, or at the end. Who cares where you start. Just begin.

© 2011 Yes2Yes Company. All Rights Reserved.

2011 is so very close. Do you taste it? Soon you’ll ring in a brand spanking New Year. You’ll be celebrating your fresh start. Celebrate your new possibilities. Celebrate that this year will be different for you. As you set your new year’s intentions, be more accountable to yourself. Sure, you might be uncomfortable at first making steady progress. Hang in there and be patient. Give yourself a pat on the back for each and every victory you achieve. Celebrate the little ones and the big ones. And don’t forget to give yourself grace when you blow it, which let’s face it, is just part of living. Celebrate being kind to yourself. Celebrate picking yourself up quickly when you say the one thing you wish you could rewind. The rest is easy. Celebrate deliberately savoring each moment, each sensation and each feeling. With all that unfolds, this year will be the best ever. You’ll want to remember it all. Oh, yeah, I can see the finish line, too. Now let’s go celebrate and raise a toast to the best that is yet to come.

© 2010 Yes2Yes Company. All Rights Reserved.

Your new year is only a few days away. This is the moment to think about your new year’s resolutions in a brand new way…to finally declare your hopes and dreams for the coming year. This is the perfect time to focus on how you will live your hope. Hope is to desire. Hope is to dream. Hope can shift effortlessly into action if and when you declare it boldly and shamelessly. Declare it to yourself first in the quiet moments when you have time to think clearly. Then as you gain confidence and courage, declare it bravely and boldly to others — even if you’re not absolutely sure. Of course, you’re right. You know hope doesn’t pay the bills. But you know you’re prepared. You don’t have a fantasy. You have ideas and plans. You declare your hopes and dare others to hope, too. Your hope is infectious. Others catch it easily. Your authenticity comes across because you are awash in optimism and expectation. That’s the way to hope. And your hope is backed up with hard work and effort. Let’s face it; you can’t hide under the radar anymore. There’s only one choice now. Move forward and boldly be hopeful.

© 2010 Yes2Yes Company. All Rights Reserved.

This is the one time of the year you allow yourself to delight in the idea of peace on earth. As you embrace the full family of humanity, you actually consider what connects us (uh, everything!), not what separates us. It’s a brief time to reflect on how all people are blessed in a multitude of ways. And a few short days later, when the holidays are behind you, you toss off peace like yesterday’s news. There’s so much turmoil in the world, right? That’s the constant. So how is it that you can be at peace in the midst of chaos? You intentionally choose peace. And you can intentionally choose peace time and time again. Is the world any better off when you are worried…when you’re concerned…or when you’re paralyzed with fear? Your team is embroiled in controversy. You now choose to guide them to a sound decision, peacefully. Your goals are huge. You don’t fight obstacles. You choose to chip away at what you want as you quietly build momentum one step at a time. Your schedule is hard core. As you move forward at a blistering pace, you choose peace. You make peace a part of daily routines. You let peace sustain you. When you’re at peace, you’re at your very best. And at your best, you make things happen.

© 2010 Yes2Yes Company. All Rights Reserved.

Okay. Be honest. How is your goodwill holding up during the holidays filled with work, parties, family, friends and too much to do? Are all the obligations of the goodwill of the holidays wearing you out? Have you lost sight of what goodwill during the holidays really means? Goodwill is the beautiful spirit within you to will goodness regardless of what shows up along the way. You don’t blame others because no matter how rude or mean or hurtful or thoughtless someone may be, you ooze goodwill. Goodwill is the undeniable urge to be tremendously kind in difficult moments — or in victory. You help someone else look good. That’s because goodness radiates more goodness. You know the right thing to do. Goodwill is taking the time to do good with a customer, a client, a friend, a lover. Put all ego aside. I promise you goodwill will come back to you many times over. Just wait and see.

© 2010 Yes2Yes Company. All Rights Reserved.

Joy can be so simple. Think about when you experience the deep, yet unadorned joy of simply being? Being fully alive…fully present…enjoying nothing. That’s where joy is. Joy is right here. Stop. Listen to the joy of right now. You are safe. You are sound. You are grateful. And your over the top joy is your birthright. This year you’ll just emanate joy. Effortlessly. You love travel — so you’ll schedule the big trip you want to take. Pack your bags. Or you live for team sports. Find out when the big game takes place and get tickets. Maybe even the team jersey (oh, go for it). Or you live for music. Look for an amazing concert you’ve always wanted to attend live. Go hear the show. See? Your joy is yours. Wear it proud. Wear it for fun. Be bold…way bolder than last year. Next time you catch the scent of potential joy – follow your instincts. Even when others are just a little hesitant around you, maintain your unbridled, exuberant joyousness. Ride joy like a wild horse. Hold on for dear life. Joy is all around you.

© 2010 Yes2Yes Company. All Rights Reserved.

T’was the day after Christmas and all the gift giving is done. Now it’s time to think of giving in a new way that’s way more fun. Giving can be oh so much more like a gesture, a look – even the small things we all really yearn for in a big way. What if you gave someone one of these intangible gifts that will be remembered, appreciated or possibly cherished forever? These gifts can be easy (a smile), totally complicated (forgiveness) and life changing, too (love). It doesn’t stop here. Think about a letter of gratitude or the gift of time. Try something right now by giving one of these gifts to yourself. Give yourself a smile. Take it even further in other situations. When you almost give up, what if you gave yourself courage? At that moment when you hesitate? Or what if you gave the gift of knowing you have enough. Just enough. That’s, right. Your “enough” is of extraordinary value to the world. Whoa, what could you do differently if that were true? Who would you be? Okay. Now you’re talking. Give it up for you.

© 2010 Yes2Yes Company. All Rights Reserved.

Today is Christmas, one of the most magical days of the year. It’s the holiday that’s all about the power of believing (whether you believe it or not). What if you could tap into this holiday reserve of belief throughout the entire year? You could discover a childlike sense of wonder every day, not for just a few days in December. What if you always had that incredible kind of unwavering trust in possibility? Maybe then you could take the single leap of faith you really want to take. Deep down inside, you could believe that if you leap, you’ll make it. And if you can’t quite get there, someone will be there to catch you to help you make those few final steps. Get rid of that nagging thought in your mind right now that makes you say: “Nah, that’ll never happen.” Instead, listen really closely so you’ll hear the thought you think when you really believe. You’ll believe in your dreams. The ones you’ve never shared with anyone. You’ll believe you are loved. You’ll believe you have these amazing moments where you make the kind of difference that changes everything. Come on. Give it everything you’ve got. Today is your day to give yourself possibility. Believe it.

© 2010 Yes2Yes Company. All Rights Reserved.

Okay, I admit I have a love-hate affair with the holidays. At times I wonder if all this holiday bustle is too much — but in the end — what’s really compelling, what really draws me in, is the opportunity to strengthen bonds with family, friends and community through gifts of giving, time together and charity.

The real reason I love December is that it brings a steady stream of personal gifts that don’t come in neatly wrapped packages. Gifts that remind me why life is worth living and why we care so much about one another. Gifts to help me receive, reflect and renew. Gifts so rich that I can grow in new ways to be a better person and stronger leader.

And if we widen our view of what’s closest in, this is a time to appreciate diverse holiday traditions: Hanukah, Winter Solstice, Christmas, Kwanzaa and the New Year. Each of these observances offers positive, affirming messages that we all quickly embrace during the month — peace, joy, love, goodwill — yet it’s a terrific opportunity lost if we forget to live these words throughout the rest of the year.

This realization inspired me to create a special gift especially for you.

Unwrap the 12 Days of YES

Drawing from many of the common words used during the holiday season, I have created the 12 Days of Yes. This gift will be presented to you for 12 consecutive days over the holidays.

The 12 Days of Yes is designed to help shift you from unresolved New Year’s resolutions of year’s past to noticeable New Year’s results. From thinking about it to getting up and doing. This year will be a marker in time and space for you to give and receive. More so, a marker in what you’re here to do with the gifts you have.

12 Days—12 Ways

Here’s what I’m doing to get you moving from December 25th to January 5th:

• Each day, you will receive a new holiday word from me with a special message.
• Each message will be a personal invitation from me to you to help you create the focus you need for the New Year.
• Each word is intended to help make sure your new year’s dreams become real for you this year.
• Each word is genuinely written from me to you.

I know that each word will appeal to every person differently. I’ve written them in my own twist to create some small shifts toward positive change. Maybe a word will give you an AHA moment. Or one will make you smile, laugh, pause and think, or okay, maybe even bring a tear to your eye.

Take the time to read each word. Savor each one. Re-read the ones that resonate with you the most. And if any of these messages help you decide what you’re here to do in the coming year, please let me know.

This year, like no other, my wish for you is that you use this holiday season to prepare for your best new year ever.

Peace, love and joy,

I wouldn’t be surprised at all if you told me that you lost something important or valuable recently. Whether it’s losing a cell phone, an expensive piece of jewelry, an office file with a month’s worth of work or your wallet full of credit cards, losing something feels downright wrong.

It’s one of those things we think we’re immune to, right?  Yet it’s a fact of life.  We can’t avoid losing something
at some time. Where the hell are my keys, anyway?

What is it with loss? First of all, we expect things to be where they should.

Second, we expect when things are lost, they will turn up right away… exactly when we want.

Third, we become obsessed. We can’t stop looking — or thinking about it.

I know this oh so well. My cat, Tony, decided to vanish for four weeks! I was literally beside myself. I had all the classic thoughts. I hope he’s okay… someone will surely find him… where else to look… who else to contact… if I look just one more place, then he would turn up.

At first, I was concerned but held the thought he would return at any moment. As days turned into weeks, I broke down like a house of cards. I got upset, angry and sad over losing our beloved family cat. Then I figured after a month, there was no way he was returning. So my daughter and I got an adorable orange, male kitten — just like Tony.

The very next night, I heard a loud cry outside my kitchen window, and there was Tony, a little thinner, and none the worse for wear.

I experienced a pretty big “gotcha.” And Tony insisted I learn a LOT about loss in the process.

It wasn’t until I let go that he decided to show up.

I love this experience. It provides a valuable lesson that we can all take to heart. When we let things go and let out any negative thoughts, feelings and emotions go through us, instead of “grabbing us”, we can move forward.

Losing a possession or a pet seems terrible and unfair when it happens. I discovered that this loss only happens so positive changes can occur in our lives. In order for us to grow, the shift between loss and gain must take place.

As we experience this crossing point, it helps us to become more aware, more detached, and more effective leaders.

When you next lose something, take these steps:

1.  Do whatever you can to find the missing item.
2.  Retrace your steps. Ask others for help.
3.  Chill out. Don’t give in to worry.
4.  If it doesn’t turn up, let GO.

I learned that letting go sooner results in the clarity you need to move on. Clinging to what we had, or what was, keeps us out of the present and we walk around distracted and unfocused — and often miss what is going on right now.

In letting go, we gain the clarity that opens up new possibilities. And often results in what was lost being found, or some wonderful new beginning that would have never been (like a cute little kitten).

Front Row Seat to Heaven

My beloved — and feisty — mother, Clara, passed away on July 29th at 97 years of age. I was by her side during her final days and wouldn’t have missed those moments for the world. My sister and I were amazed witnesses to such a personal and moving transition. As the hospice nurse reminded us: “You two have front row seats to heaven.”

Walking My Talk

The truth is… I’ve been in a sort of hermit mode since the funeral. It’s been an intense time for my own recalibration. As a coach, I have mindfully walked the talk I give others on dealing with difficult challenges and embracing new opportunities. I have a new appreciation for what recalibration does for one’s spirit. It surprises us with some new ways of being — a way that is completely different than before — and one that will never be the same again.

Having emerged from my cocoon, I want to share my intimate story with you. Believe me when I say this — I am taking a big risk to stick my neck out of my comfort zone. I know I would surely feel far safer circling the tribe and retaining the experience with those few closest to me.

There is much suffering and grief in this process. Damn, I can’t even write this without tears. I am grateful my mother had a long life being such a remarkable woman and role model to many. A number of characteristics make her stand out. She had a strong mind, showed great leadership and created a lasting legacy through a children’s library she founded at the church she loved. But the grief doesn’t seem to care about all those details. It just vibrates this void like some huge Tibetan bell whose waves linger long after the bell’s been rung.

A Treasured Gift

Yet, I’m purposely sharing my grief with you because I believe my mother’s death has been a great gift, not only for me, but for you.

Come on, now, really? Losing your mother, a gift? Well, I didn’t say it was only joy. For sure, there is plenty of sorrow to go around.

Still, her death is a gift indeed. I write in the midst of my grieving to let you know how beautiful — and good — grief is and should be. We avoid it. We don’t know what to say around it. We sanitize our children from it. We numb ourselves to it when it is far removed. And I think that’s all very sad.

Grief Is Good

You know that grief is good because:

• It ruthlessly reminds us what is important — and what is sheer idiocy (for which I have decidedly less tolerance for now, and will practice vehemently to sustain).
• You unquestionably know that there is more to this life than our bodies and minds. There is spirit. The divine. And surely no fear.
• It forces you to wake up, at least for a moment, to your own mortality. In that moment, you realize that life is indeed much too short. It’s as if someone cleaned your windshield smeared with layer after layer of dirt so you can finally see the landscape around you and make some sense of this world. And for a few glorious moments, you really do know what life is all about.

What I Want You to DO

Go home and to work and BE who you ARE. DO what you are here to DO. LEAD what you are meant to LEAD just like Clara did. Start and volunteer with an organization for over 40 years till you can’t go up and down stairs. Visit the sick and dying even when you don’t have any idea what to say. Organize an annual spiritual retreat. Take your grandchildren to your library so they can see what contribution is all about. Take your family on special outings like to New York City so they won’t forget amazing trips together. Go to the beach often. Watch endless sunrises and sunsets. Visit Italy even when you can’t see well and have to be guided and even caught when you falter. Ride roller coasters into your 70′s. Eat gelato while it’s melting — and peanut butter on a spoon straight from the jar even when someone is watching. Make others laugh, even when you are in pain. And above all, tell them you love them in dramatic fashion. So they really know you mean it.

This is the recalibration lesson that I’ve gradually come to teach myself. And it has given me such goose bumps that I knew I had to share it with you immediately. That’s how good my grief is right now.

What has captured my attention this year is seeing college basketball bring out some pretty serious fan hatred. In fact, 49% of fans polled by USA Today rooted against eventual NCAA winner Duke University at one point.

Duke’s head basketball coach, Mike Krzyzewski (pronounced shi-shef-ski) was quoted in USA Today as saying: “That happens when any program at any level of sport has continued success and high visibility… that’s just going to happen.”

Really? Success breeds hatred? What’s that about?

And the NBA is no different. Just look at the Los Angeles Lakers. They’re the NBA team a lot of fans love to hate. Even though they boast 14 NBA title wins, these champions have the swagger of Kobe Bryant drawing the wrath of many fans of the game.

Even LeBron James, the back-to-back league MVP from the Cleveland Cavaliers, has his detractors. There’s a video of him purposely throwing his two separate warm-up jerseys just out of reach of a ball boy in Chicago — that’s going viral — with 820,000+ views.

As a culture, we have a lot of die-hard sports fans who rise and fall with their teams, enjoy the stories and live vicariously through the wins and losses. There is nothing wrong with that process because it makes the victories even more sweet. But that’s very different from choosing an “enemy” team and actively wishing them to crash and burn.

Wishing others to lose is so foreign to me. What sense does it make to intentionally choose negative thoughts?

I don’t get what prompts a person to start to hate an athlete or team whose values or style clash with her own. While the athlete or team is minding their own path to winning, you wish them to fail, and have little or no impact on the athlete or the sport you follow. Instead, that kind of negativity ends up having far more of an effect on you.

Maybe the same is true for the game of life. We sometimes look at competitors — both internal and external — as the enemy. We wish them to fail. We pull against them. And maybe even resent their success as if it’s at the expense of us.

So as you watch your favorite teams — or sport your finest business suit — take the time to pose these questions and observe your answers:

1. Am I taking care of my business – or someone else’s?

2. Are my thoughts helping me to achieve the success I am gaming for?

3. What am I learning from observing others’ success – and how does that enhance my leadership?

Success is not a zero sum game. There is enough to go around for everyone. All of us go through cycles of failure and success. Ups and downs serve us if we learn from them and advance to our own next level.

Here’s a valuable reminder: there are always better ways to cheer a team on while enjoying your game, rather than wishing someone else’s to crash and burn.

Yes.  Failure is a humbling and brilliant teacher.

I admit the idea of singing the praises of failure kind of messes with peoples’ minds because it is just so different than what we are taught to believe.

Failure is a phenomenal gift whether we are aware of it or not.  We often learn far more from our failures than our “high five” moments. And if we can increase our awareness of the value of failure, we can draw upon it for so much more.

Consider the Oscars

The recent Academy Awards were a revealing representation of all things up AND down. This year we watched winners and losers who failed many times before. Some suffered the depths of less than A-list careers (think Sandra Bullock), 50-year careers without an Oscar (think Jeff Bridges) and being nominated more times than anyone else but failed to win 16 freakin’ times (think Meryl Streep).

It’s so fascinating to observe how success and failure work together to add to the richness of life.

Perhaps Jeff Bridges exemplified this reality most vividly. He referenced an earlier and far less commercially successful movie role he had in The Big Lebowski. When asked to comment on his long career without an Oscar, Jeff humbly quoted his Lebowski character, Dude, a bowling aficionado, saying:

“Strikes and gutters, man!”

In so doing, Jeff Bridges didn’t veil his failures. He honored them. And he deftly demonstrated for all of us what success REALLY looks like.

Success is made up of individual moments.

Practicing your craft. Honing your skills. Working through the “gutters.” Suffering humiliation on occasion. Imagining glory. And savoring the truly delicious “strikes” along the way.

This year’s Oscars were an AHA moment for me. As I looked at Sandra Bullock, Jeff Bridges and Meryl Streep, I suddenly recognized how they have brilliantly turned failure into success during their careers.

How can YOU enjoy the value failure has to offer like these actors?

First YOU have to get ego out of the way. Then reflect on the following:

Let’s face it.  Failures are a necessary part of the road to success.

I would even argue they are valuable emotional markers along the way. Markers to be celebrated more. As a vital part of the journey to creating the legacy you’re here to create.

Think about how actor Jack Lemmon viewed failure when he stated: “Failure seldom stops you. What stops you is the fear of failure.” And, writer Truman Capote once offered this wonderful definition: “Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.”

Allow yourself to become aware of how failure is a natural and regular result of the cycle of life. Let’s try to tap its potential more and even embrace it.Yes, to all of our strikes and gutters,

I also see the holiday season as a perfect time of year to give yourself  Gifts—the kind that can change your life and literally change your world.

Why? Because I firmly believe that taking care of YOU helps you better take care of others.

You may find the notion of giving yourself something special during the holidays as a counter-intuitive thought. Here’s a practical way to think about it. It is beautifully illustrated each time you fly. The flight attendant reminds you to make sure YOU take the oxygen mask first—before you try to help others.

Presents vs. Presence
Forget about any notion to run out to Macy’s with credit card in hand right now! I’m not advocating that you buy yourself lots of presents! I’m talking about three simple presents that will give you a new presence. To get you started, I’ve already got a draft “shopping” list written for you.

Check off at least one gift to give yourself – if not all three:

1. The gift of a positive vision – take the long term view and come up with a concrete picture of things as they could be in 2010 – and focus on developing your strategy for accomplishing that vision.

2. The gift of acquiring new skills – take a systematic assessment of the skills you need to achieve that 2010 vision – and focus on developing those skills so you’re best positioned to achieve your vision.

3. The gift of staying centered – take an inventory of the streaming thoughts in your head – and make it a practice to proactively choose thoughts that will keep you focused on the positive vision you want to achieve.

When you give yourself these vital gifts, what could be different for you in the coming year?

You CAN:

Become Positive Inspiration
I’ve seen positively electric meetings when the manager really believes in what they want to achieve and it “catches” around the table (or phone call!). We’ve all seen the opposite. Choose inspiration.

Offer Contagious Promise
Leaders who are willing to learn—particularly if they take a risk and invest in something they have historically had challenges with—are exhibiting the promise of possibility with humility. Go for it—good for you—and maybe even better for those around you.

Create an Open Presence
Take the time to PRACTICE being centered. Whether through meditation, relaxation techniques, contemplative studies, yoga, or prayer—whatever it takes—practice makes progress. Commit to practicing on a regular basis this coming year.

And when your leadership models these three simple gifts you create a special kind of positive momentum.

So know your leadership is magnetic. Whatever you bring to others is reflected back to you. Authentic leadership can transmit power and excitement. Make use of it intentionally—people who you work and play with–will experience the gifts you give yourself, too.

I’d even venture a guess that these gifts to yourself would come back to you and to those you know in ways that delight and surprise you—maybe even in miraculous ways.

So this is my holiday wish for you. Now is the time to ask what brings you joy, what excites you and then go for it. Use December to allow yourself to become fully ignited in your passion and then commit to practicing your passion daily. The world is awaiting your incredible gifts.

Have a festive holiday and a new year filled with YES,

Maria van Hekken, PCC
President, Yes2Yes Leadership-for-Success Coaching
www.yes2yes.com

Year after year, I’ve watched my family sit down to Thanksgiving dinner and enjoy “filling up” on our abundant spread. They know exactly what dishes appeal to them and they dig in with enthusiasm. On the surface, that’s a picture of a happy Thanksgiving and I am grateful.

But I believe there’s something even more important in this holiday for all of us. Thanksgiving is an excellent time to pause, ask what we truly are hungry for in our individual lives and then to take action.

My Thanksgiving Invitation to You

On Thursday, I’d like to invite you to ask yourself this question: what are you really hungry for at this time in your life? Consider your own craving to fill any emptiness, or even a deeper yearning to have something different take shape.  Focus on a key component on your own leadership strategy.  It could be playing to your strengths, adding new skills to transition to the next level, comprehensive network planning,  taking better care of yourself to be more resilient under stress or even thinking about the legacy you want to leave.

Here’s a Great Role Model

I am personally inspired by Steve Jobs and the way he has identified his hunger and fueled his life. He is an example of someone who has developed a unique leadership strategy and achieved what he envisioned.

It’s no wonder that Fortune magazine has recently named him CEO of the Decade. Yes, I said of the decade.

That’s an impressive honor but let’s look beyond the recognition.  What was Steve Jobs so hungry for that allowed him to achieve such great heights?

Yes, he is hard working. He’s brilliant. And he’s demanding –  of himself and others. He’s got a maniacal focus on details. And he’s also arrogant, merciless and often unpleasant. That’s hardly a recipe for success — on paper, at least.

No, it’s not his skills or his flaws. And it’s not for his love of money — he’s reported to have very few trappings of wealth. He’s famously successful because of his unwavering vision and his drive to achieve it.

Steve Jobs wants to do nothing less than change the world by empowering individuals with new possibilities.  He has used his personal quest to leave a meaningful legacy without being deterred by whatever obstacles show up along the way.

Oh, there have been plenty of obstacles. In 1985, he was ousted by Apple, the company he founded. His personal health has dealt him major setbacks, including pancreatic cancer in 2004, and a liver transplant in 2009. Remember too, like the rest of us, he’s been operating in a time of significant economic downturn.

Undaunted, and maybe even inspired by the philosophy that “there’s no time to waste,” he continually succeeds.

What’s the lesson Jobs has for the rest of us?

It’s the value of having an undying belief in a positive vision.  It’s the relentless pursuit of positive action — based on exactly who you are. It’s building momentum. That’s what adds up to positive results.

What are you so hungry for that you have that undying belief in what could be? What vision is at your core that compels you to continue to pursue action in spite of your perceived flaws or current situation? What is that lasting legacy you want to leave?

Think about how Steve Jobs’ hunger helped him stay focused to achieve.  Be inspired and let this be the food for thought you need to nourish you in new ways.

I encourage you to accept my invitation to identify what will truly satisfy your internal hunger to make a difference in your life. I want to hear from you and learn more about your Thanksgiving experience. Share your story by sending me an email.

Have a happy Thanksgiving filled with good food, good friends and good thoughts!

This year my beach vacation was utterly relaxing.

Having just returned home, I sit here lingering in the serenity of this wondrous feeling of chilling so completely.

I found rest and relaxation by looking at leadership goals in a new way.  I made it a point to include big goals (discovering the power of surrender) and little goals (reading three mindless books at the beach this year).

I didn’t quite reach my goal of reading all three books during my vacation. Even though I finished the third book at home on Saturday, it still feels like a significant breakthrough to me.

It was such a delightful and positive experience.

I really could surrender to fantasy filled fiction. Versus being so focused on business goals, integrated social networking strategies, and leadership, mindfulness, and presence—which I am normally so passionate about—-and almost consumed by at times.

And that little goal of reading held its significant power over me.

It started so simply for me. Walking into the nearby Barnes & Noble before I left and buying Summer Affair by Elin Hiledbrand with its gorgeous beach cover. Perfect.

Once I started reading, I became immersed in the fictional lives of dozens of people I didn’t know (nor needed to know) living on Nantucket Island. I was out of my normal routine. I was allowing myself the pleasure of mindless enjoyment and enriching exploration. I couldn’t wait to read each new chapter. What a complete joy to read.

Once finished with book one, I couldn’t wait to devour another. So I kept the momentum going and got a second book, Castaways, by the same author. Four couples, intertwined with each other at multiple levels and depths. Delicious.

I longed for more. So then there was book three, The Diary, by Eileen Goudge. Taking me back to a woman’s diary from the 1950’s, I read and became enchanted with the lead character Elizabeth’s will to seize what it was she TRULY wanted in life no matter what anyone else thought.

As I finished the third book tonight, even if after arriving back home in Allentown, Pennsylvania, I realized that setting that “little goal” to read a novel this vacation—one that could carry me away—had returned far more investment by week’s end than I had ever anticipated. I had in fact gotten so caught up in the literary momentum I ended up reading three books in quick succession.  Who knew when I walked into that Barnes & Noble, how powerful that would be.

By focusing on fiction, I was allowed to refresh my love of reading for fun and build some reading “capital” for more serious reading throughout the year. I enhanced my leadership capabilities by imagining in a deeper way than I typically do. And most important, I catapulted myself completely out of my routine and launched myself vigorously into a new world of possibilities.

By enriching myself, I am now ready to create more success, more meaning, and more contribution—to help others to accomplish their leadership goals in service of themselves and others.

My vacation goals served me well.  I get the sense that they will sustain me and my leadership for some time to come.

You know who inspires me this summer?

Lance Armstrong.

He hung tough throughout the Tour de France by finishing in third place. And at age 38, after a four-year hiatus, that’s pretty remarkable in my book.

What leadership does Lance show us so powerfully?

His determination, training, and giving it all he has in the moment—especially among a much younger crowd anxious to defeat him—beautifully embodies how to achieve more than we ever thought possible.

Lance joins plenty of other iconic athletes trying to come back to achieve a major victory. Michael Jordan and Magic Johnson both tried. And last year, Dara Torres, the 42-year- old mother and competitive swimmer, finished second (three times!) in the 2008 Summer Olympic Games in Beijing. Not one of these accomplished athletes achieved first place again. And this year, at least, Lance didn’t either.

Is success measured by coming in first?

It is for many people. They would conclude that Lance is driven by his oversized ego. And be critical of him coming in third after earning seven consecutive yellow jerseys. Say he should have quit while he was still on top.

But others would disagree. Maybe that’s not what it’s about for him. Maybe Armstrong was fighting to come back to publicly represent his indefatigable optimism that cancer can be beaten – and raise money and awareness for prevention and a cure.  Two huge, positive goals.

Lance Armstrong always has been criticized, analyzed, and characterized as having a big ego. Though he placed third while his teammate Alberto Contador ended up in first place, their team won the coveted team award. While the press made a great deal of the tension between these two team members, we wouldn’t know what conflicts existed for Lance, as he was so professional in all of his interviews.

What we can see is his determination to use his fame to help others in big ways; not for the sake of sound bites. This was hard work. I think that’s the legacy he leaves. That he is going to give it all he has for his personal satisfaction and for the greater good of others.

What can you learn from Lance Armstrong?

Create your personal mission and work hard to achieve it.  If you find yourself in a team environment, remember that your team can accomplish a great deal together, even with conflict.  Along the way you may encounter bumps in the road where you will need to get creative to achieve your goals. It pays to stay professional throughout your journey — no matter what.  Sometimes you have to live with second or even third place. Learn from that moment to move ahead.

As Lance Armstrong crossed the finish line on the Champs Élysées on Sunday, after three grueling weeks on the road, I would argue he accomplished what he set out to do.

Most important, he inspired us.

Get in the race. Then give it all you’ve got to achieve your goals.

That’s a personal tour we can ALL aspire to as leaders.

That’s probably why I am so drawn to Lloyd, a character on the HBO series, Entourage. When the season premier opened this week, I watched Lloyd struggling, as usual, as personal assistant in the Miller Gold Agency. He’s really the classic underdog in this ad agency setting. And he’s hardly the most dynamic—or successful—character on the show.

Lloyd plays account executive Ari Gold’s lowly phone-answering assistant. But man, oh man, he is a character — and a loveable one at that. You watch Lloyd kind of like you’d watch a train wreck. You wince, but just can’t force yourself to look away.

So what leadership did I see Lloyd demonstrate so powerfully on the show?

It’s pretty remarkable. He took a stand for himself by publicly confronting Ari about a long sought after promotion. When Ari challenges him in the moment that he will “not be strong armed,” Lloyd doesn’t just persist, he inspires by standing up brilliantly to his arrogant, ruthless, demeaning boss.

Suffice it to say, like the rest of us, Ari Gold was speechless.

God, how many times have you had thoughts like Lloyd’s diatribe that you’ve quietly fantasized over in the heat of the moment? But you just didn’t have the nerve (or the luxury of losing your job!) to deliver them? Well, Lloyd breathed a final chance at his long desired promotion. He had the passion, commitment and gravitas to deliver—and survive—at least for the moment, seemingly unscathed.

True, Ari’s next move is a cruel challenge to endure what amounts to a 100 day “hazing”—beginning with a cold directive to drop 15 pounds. Yet Lloyd took it like the leader he is.

I think Lloyd is an inspiration to day-in and day-out, hard working leaders, especially those working for less evolved managers. We’ve all had an “Ari Gold” in our lives.

Most important, Lloyd serves as a good reminder that we are all leaders. Supervising some or reporting to others, we have differing functions in the diverse roles in our lives.

Turtle, another consummate underdog on Entourage, perhaps sums it up best when he says: “It’s all about energy.”

He hit the nail on the head. Now I see what drives Lloyd!

Lloyd has that energy. His guts and no holds barred daring can inspire us to dream more, stretch more, challenge more than we ever thought possible. Maybe someday, we’ll see Lloyd as a successful account exec in the Miller Gold Agency. We might even think it’s overnight success if we’re new to the show. And wonder how Lloyd’s character ever rose to such meteoric heights. Those of us who have been watching will recognize the discipline it’s taken Lloyd. The challenges he’s endured on his way to the top.

For the moment, Lloyd has inspired me with his energy.
That’s the kind of leadership worth applauding!

My thinking on vision was reinforced last week while speaking at the Georgetown University Leadership Coaching Annual Alumni meeting in Washington, DC. All presentations I attended, including my own, emphasized the importance of vision for existing leaders, emerging leaders and leaders in transition.

Why is vision so key?

Because having a VISION–a vivid, concrete image of what positive results you really want–is THE most important part of achieving desired results.

Why?

Well, if you start from a point of view of what is WRONG, you end up spending time and energy on just that.

Not a big deal, right? Everybody does it.

I think it IS a big deal. Because when you focus on what’s wrong, you accept it as truth. You feel it will always be that way. To do so is not just unproductive. It can be downright depressing.

If, on the other hand, you take time to consider what is POSSIBLE–and create a vision of what could be–you could borrow a line from our newly elected President’s successful political campaign and say:

“YES WE CAN”

Your thinking and energy can now be focused on HOW you can get CLOSER to your vision. Instead of how awful things are–you can start to believe in what CAN be.

Want to tap the power of your vision?

Take a minute and look five years into the future and ask yourself one simple question:

What is your vision of what your leadership could be?

Give it a moment. Get a clear picture in your mind of what kind of a leader you could be.

When you have that image in your mind, then ask yourself: what’s one thing you can do NOW to get closer to that vision?

Is it taking a course? Getting certified in a particular skill? Improving your communication skills? Venturing into a new specialty?

Finally, take one more minute to focus on the single thing you could do now to make you that better leader.

Commit to accomplishing one thing to get closer to your vision:

Make it easy to remember.

Tell someone else.

Write it down.

Read it each morning.

See what happens.

Being focused on your VISION is the most valuable step you can take now to improve your leadership. And you can use your vision to INSPIRE others. Take the time. It’s worth it.

www.yes2yes.com