Wrap Up Your Presence

December 21, 2009 - Comments Off

December is a favorite time of year for me. I’m enjoying completing my gift giving and getting ready to celebrate this wonderful holiday time. I love planning a meaningful gift list for family, friends and colleagues plus designating year end charitable contributions to some of my favorite groups. Giving thoughtful gifts and generous contributions has become a tradition that gives me great satisfaction.

I also see the holiday season as a perfect time of year to give yourself  Gifts—the kind that can change your life and literally change your world.

Why? Because I firmly believe that taking care of YOU helps you better take care of others.

You may find the notion of giving yourself something special during the holidays as a counter-intuitive thought. Here’s a practical way to think about it. It is beautifully illustrated each time you fly. The flight attendant reminds you to make sure YOU take the oxygen mask first—before you try to help others.

Presents vs. Presence
Forget about any notion to run out to Macy’s with credit card in hand right now! I’m not advocating that you buy yourself lots of presents! I’m talking about three simple presents that will give you a new presence. To get you started, I’ve already got a draft “shopping” list written for you.

Check off at least one gift to give yourself – if not all three:

1. The gift of a positive vision – take the long term view and come up with a concrete picture of things as they could be in 2010 – and focus on developing your strategy for accomplishing that vision.

2. The gift of acquiring new skills – take a systematic assessment of the skills you need to achieve that 2010 vision – and focus on developing those skills so you’re best positioned to achieve your vision.

3. The gift of staying centered – take an inventory of the streaming thoughts in your head – and make it a practice to proactively choose thoughts that will keep you focused on the positive vision you want to achieve.

When you give yourself these vital gifts, what could be different for you in the coming year?

You CAN:

Become Positive Inspiration
I’ve seen positively electric meetings when the manager really believes in what they want to achieve and it “catches” around the table (or phone call!). We’ve all seen the opposite. Choose inspiration.

Offer Contagious Promise
Leaders who are willing to learn—particularly if they take a risk and invest in something they have historically had challenges with—are exhibiting the promise of possibility with humility. Go for it—good for you—and maybe even better for those around you.

Create an Open Presence
Take the time to PRACTICE being centered. Whether through meditation, relaxation techniques, contemplative studies, yoga, or prayer—whatever it takes—practice makes progress. Commit to practicing on a regular basis this coming year.

And when your leadership models these three simple gifts you create a special kind of positive momentum.

So know your leadership is magnetic. Whatever you bring to others is reflected back to you. Authentic leadership can transmit power and excitement. Make use of it intentionally—people who you work and play with–will experience the gifts you give yourself, too.

I’d even venture a guess that these gifts to yourself would come back to you and to those you know in ways that delight and surprise you—maybe even in miraculous ways.

So this is my holiday wish for you. Now is the time to ask what brings you joy, what excites you and then go for it. Use December to allow yourself to become fully ignited in your passion and then commit to practicing your passion daily. The world is awaiting your incredible gifts.

Have a festive holiday and a new year filled with YES,

Maria van Hekken, PCC
President, Yes2Yes Leadership-for-Success Coaching
www.yes2yes.com

Categorized in presence

What Are You Really Hungry for This Thanksgiving?

November 23, 2009 - Leave a Response

November 26th will be upon us in a few days. If you’re like my family, you are busy getting ready to enjoy the traditions like the aroma of turkey and pumpkin pie filling the house, visiting with family and friends and feasting on wonderful foods.

Year after year, I’ve watched my family sit down to Thanksgiving dinner and enjoy “filling up” on our abundant spread. They know exactly what dishes appeal to them and they dig in with enthusiasm. On the surface, that’s a picture of a happy Thanksgiving and I am grateful.

But I believe there’s something even more important in this holiday for all of us. Thanksgiving is an excellent time to pause, ask what we truly are hungry for in our individual lives and then to take action.

My Thanksgiving Invitation to You

On Thursday, I’d like to invite you to ask yourself this question: what are you really hungry for at this time in your life? Consider your own craving to fill any emptiness, or even a deeper yearning to have something different take shape.  Focus on a key component on your own leadership strategy.  It could be playing to your strengths, adding new skills to transition to the next level, comprehensive network planning,  taking better care of yourself to be more resilient under stress or even thinking about the legacy you want to leave.

Here’s a Great Role Model

I am personally inspired by Steve Jobs and the way he has identified his hunger and fueled his life. He is an example of someone who has developed a unique leadership strategy and achieved what he envisioned.

It’s no wonder that Fortune magazine has recently named him CEO of the Decade. Yes, I said of the decade.

That’s an impressive honor but let’s look beyond the recognition.  What was Steve Jobs so hungry for that allowed him to achieve such great heights?

Yes, he is hard working. He’s brilliant. And he’s demanding –  of himself and others. He’s got a maniacal focus on details. And he’s also arrogant, merciless and often unpleasant. That’s hardly a recipe for success — on paper, at least.

No, it’s not his skills or his flaws. And it’s not for his love of money — he’s reported to have very few trappings of wealth. He’s famously successful because of his unwavering vision and his drive to achieve it.

Steve Jobs wants to do nothing less than change the world by empowering individuals with new possibilities.  He has used his personal quest to leave a meaningful legacy without being deterred by whatever obstacles show up along the way.

Oh, there have been plenty of obstacles. In 1985, he was ousted by Apple, the company he founded. His personal health has dealt him major setbacks, including pancreatic cancer in 2004, and a liver transplant in 2009. Remember too, like the rest of us, he’s been operating in a time of significant economic downturn.

Undaunted, and maybe even inspired by the philosophy that “there’s no time to waste,” he continually succeeds.

What’s the lesson Jobs has for the rest of us?

It’s the value of having an undying belief in a positive vision.  It’s the relentless pursuit of positive action — based on exactly who you are. It’s building momentum. That’s what adds up to positive results.

What are you so hungry for that you have that undying belief in what could be? What vision is at your core that compels you to continue to pursue action in spite of your perceived flaws or current situation? What is that lasting legacy you want to leave?

Think about how Steve Jobs’ hunger helped him stay focused to achieve.  Be inspired and let this be the food for thought you need to nourish you in new ways.

I encourage you to accept my invitation to identify what will truly satisfy your internal hunger to make a difference in your life. I want to hear from you and learn more about your Thanksgiving experience. Share your story by sending me an email.

Have a happy Thanksgiving filled with good food, good friends and good thoughts!

Categorized in Corporate Coaching, coaching, goal setting, goals, helping others, intention, leadership, leadership development, positive and success
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Surrender to Summer

August 24, 2009 - Leave a Response

Summertime…and the living is easy!

This year my beach vacation was utterly relaxing.

Having just returned home, I sit here lingering in the serenity of this wondrous feeling of chilling so completely.

I found rest and relaxation by looking at leadership goals in a new way.  I made it a point to include big goals (discovering the power of surrender) and little goals (reading three mindless books at the beach this year).

I didn’t quite reach my goal of reading all three books during my vacation. Even though I finished the third book at home on Saturday, it still feels like a significant breakthrough to me.

It was such a delightful and positive experience.

I really could surrender to fantasy filled fiction. Versus being so focused on business goals, integrated social networking strategies, and leadership, mindfulness, and presence—which I am normally so passionate about—-and almost consumed by at times.

And that little goal of reading held its significant power over me.

It started so simply for me. Walking into the nearby Barnes & Noble before I left and buying Summer Affair by Elin Hiledbrand with its gorgeous beach cover. Perfect.

Once I started reading, I became immersed in the fictional lives of dozens of people I didn’t know (nor needed to know) living on Nantucket Island. I was out of my normal routine. I was allowing myself the pleasure of mindless enjoyment and enriching exploration. I couldn’t wait to read each new chapter. What a complete joy to read.

Once finished with book one, I couldn’t wait to devour another. So I kept the momentum going and got a second book, Castaways, by the same author. Four couples, intertwined with each other at multiple levels and depths. Delicious.

I longed for more. So then there was book three, The Diary, by Eileen Goudge. Taking me back to a woman’s diary from the 1950’s, I read and became enchanted with the lead character Elizabeth’s will to seize what it was she TRULY wanted in life no matter what anyone else thought.

As I finished the third book tonight, even if after arriving back home in Allentown, Pennsylvania, I realized that setting that “little goal” to read a novel this vacation—one that could carry me away—had returned far more investment by week’s end than I had ever anticipated. I had in fact gotten so caught up in the literary momentum I ended up reading three books in quick succession.  Who knew when I walked into that Barnes & Noble, how powerful that would be.

By focusing on fiction, I was allowed to refresh my love of reading for fun and build some reading “capital” for more serious reading throughout the year. I enhanced my leadership capabilities by imagining in a deeper way than I typically do. And most important, I catapulted myself completely out of my routine and launched myself vigorously into a new world of possibilities.

By enriching myself, I am now ready to create more success, more meaning, and more contribution—to help others to accomplish their leadership goals in service of themselves and others.

My vacation goals served me well.  I get the sense that they will sustain me and my leadership for some time to come.


Categorized in Corporate Coaching, coaching, goal setting, goals, intention, leadership, leadership coaching, leadership development, positive, reading, success and vacation

Ride Your Own Tour de Leadership

July 28, 2009 - 2 Responses

Leadership isn’t always about winning … or even making everyone happy. Sometimes it’s about furthering your own personal values and purpose. When you choose that kind of leadership, you’re simply not going to listen to your critics. In fact, the people who aim to taunt and challenge, might even inspire you to achieve more.

You know who inspires me this summer?

Lance Armstrong.

He hung tough throughout the Tour de France by finishing in third place. And at age 38, after a four-year hiatus, that’s pretty remarkable in my book.

What leadership does Lance show us so powerfully?

His determination, training, and giving it all he has in the moment—especially among a much younger crowd anxious to defeat him—beautifully embodies how to achieve more than we ever thought possible.

Lance joins plenty of other iconic athletes trying to come back to achieve a major victory. Michael Jordan and Magic Johnson both tried. And last year, Dara Torres, the 42-year- old mother and competitive swimmer, finished second (three times!) in the 2008 Summer Olympic Games in Beijing. Not one of these accomplished athletes achieved first place again. And this year, at least, Lance didn’t either.

Is success measured by coming in first?

It is for many people. They would conclude that Lance is driven by his oversized ego. And be critical of him coming in third after earning seven consecutive yellow jerseys. Say he should have quit while he was still on top.

But others would disagree. Maybe that’s not what it’s about for him. Maybe Armstrong was fighting to come back to publicly represent his indefatigable optimism that cancer can be beaten – and raise money and awareness for prevention and a cure.  Two huge, positive goals.

Lance Armstrong always has been criticized, analyzed, and characterized as having a big ego. Though he placed third while his teammate Alberto Contador ended up in first place, their team won the coveted team award. While the press made a great deal of the tension between these two team members, we wouldn’t know what conflicts existed for Lance, as he was so professional in all of his interviews.

What we can see is his determination to use his fame to help others in big ways; not for the sake of sound bites. This was hard work. I think that’s the legacy he leaves. That he is going to give it all he has for his personal satisfaction and for the greater good of others.

What can you learn from Lance Armstrong?

Create your personal mission and work hard to achieve it.  If you find yourself in a team environment, remember that your team can accomplish a great deal together, even with conflict.  Along the way you may encounter bumps in the road where you will need to get creative to achieve your goals. It pays to stay professional throughout your journey — no matter what.  Sometimes you have to live with second or even third place. Learn from that moment to move ahead.

As Lance Armstrong crossed the finish line on the Champs Élysées on Sunday, after three grueling weeks on the road, I would argue he accomplished what he set out to do.

Most important, he inspired us.

Get in the race. Then give it all you’ve got to achieve your goals.

That’s a personal tour we can ALL aspire to as leaders.

Categorized in Corporate Coaching, Lance Armstrong, coaching, helping others, leadership, leadership coaching, leadership development, positive, team performance, teams, tour de france and winning
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Cheering for Underdog Leadership

July 17, 2009 - Leave a Response

Leadership rarely starts easy. Yet something in all of us wants to believe in the magic of overnight success without all of the hard work and often failure that’s part of the process.

That’s probably why I am so drawn to Lloyd, a character on the HBO series, Entourage. When the season premier opened this week, I watched Lloyd struggling, as usual, as personal assistant in the Miller Gold Agency. He’s really the classic underdog in this ad agency setting. And he’s hardly the most dynamic—or successful—character on the show.

Lloyd plays account executive Ari Gold’s lowly phone-answering assistant. But man, oh man, he is a character — and a loveable one at that. You watch Lloyd kind of like you’d watch a train wreck. You wince, but just can’t force yourself to look away.

So what leadership did I see Lloyd demonstrate so powerfully on the show?

It’s pretty remarkable. He took a stand for himself by publicly confronting Ari about a long sought after promotion. When Ari challenges him in the moment that he will “not be strong armed,” Lloyd doesn’t just persist, he inspires by standing up brilliantly to his arrogant, ruthless, demeaning boss.

Suffice it to say, like the rest of us, Ari Gold was speechless.

God, how many times have you had thoughts like Lloyd’s diatribe that you’ve quietly fantasized over in the heat of the moment? But you just didn’t have the nerve (or the luxury of losing your job!) to deliver them? Well, Lloyd breathed a final chance at his long desired promotion. He had the passion, commitment and gravitas to deliver—and survive—at least for the moment, seemingly unscathed.

True, Ari’s next move is a cruel challenge to endure what amounts to a 100 day “hazing”—beginning with a cold directive to drop 15 pounds. Yet Lloyd took it like the leader he is.

I think Lloyd is an inspiration to day-in and day-out, hard working leaders, especially those working for less evolved managers. We’ve all had an “Ari Gold” in our lives.

Most important, Lloyd serves as a good reminder that we are all leaders. Supervising some or reporting to others, we have differing functions in the diverse roles in our lives.

Turtle, another consummate underdog on Entourage, perhaps sums it up best when he says: “It’s all about energy.”

He hit the nail on the head. Now I see what drives Lloyd!

Lloyd has that energy. His guts and no holds barred daring can inspire us to dream more, stretch more, challenge more than we ever thought possible. Maybe someday, we’ll see Lloyd as a successful account exec in the Miller Gold Agency. We might even think it’s overnight success if we’re new to the show. And wonder how Lloyd’s character ever rose to such meteoric heights. Those of us who have been watching will recognize the discipline it’s taken Lloyd. The challenges he’s endured on his way to the top.

For the moment, Lloyd has inspired me with his energy.
That’s the kind of leadership worth applauding!

Categorized in leadership, leadership development, positive and presence
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Power Up Your Vision

March 3, 2009 - One Response

Vision has always been a subtle but critical element for effective leadership. In these tough times, I firmly believe that it’s even more essential.

My thinking on vision was reinforced last week while speaking at the Georgetown University Leadership Coaching Annual Alumni meeting in Washington, DC. All presentations I attended, including my own, emphasized the importance of vision for existing leaders, emerging leaders and leaders in transition.

Why is vision so key?

Because having a VISION–a vivid, concrete image of what positive results you really want–is THE most important part of achieving desired results.

Why?

Well, if you start from a point of view of what is WRONG, you end up spending time and energy on just that.

Not a big deal, right? Everybody does it.

I think it IS a big deal. Because when you focus on what’s wrong, you accept it as truth. You feel it will always be that way. To do so is not just unproductive. It can be downright depressing.

If, on the other hand, you take time to consider what is POSSIBLE–and create a vision of what could be–you could borrow a line from our newly elected President’s successful political campaign and say:

“YES WE CAN”

Your thinking and energy can now be focused on HOW you can get CLOSER to your vision. Instead of how awful things are–you can start to believe in what CAN be.

Want to tap the power of your vision?

Take a minute and look five years into the future and ask yourself one simple question:

What is your vision of what your leadership could be?

Give it a moment. Get a clear picture in your mind of what kind of a leader you could be.

When you have that image in your mind, then ask yourself: what’s one thing you can do NOW to get closer to that vision?

Is it taking a course? Getting certified in a particular skill? Improving your communication skills? Venturing into a new specialty?

Finally, take one more minute to focus on the single thing you could do now to make you that better leader.

Commit to accomplishing one thing to get closer to your vision:

Make it easy to remember.

Tell someone else.

Write it down.

Read it each morning.

See what happens.

    Being focused on your VISION is the most valuable step you can take now to improve your leadership. And you can use your vision to INSPIRE others. Take the time. It’s worth it.


    www.yes2yes.com

    Categorized in Blogroll, Corporate Coaching, Generations, adult development, coaching, leadership, leadership development, positive and presence
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    Here and There

    October 16, 2008 - Leave a Response

    What is there for you, as a leader?

    You know what I mean? Like when I get there – then everything will be all good.

    I keep trying to think about when there is here.

    As far as I can figure, we’re always here. Right here. Not there. Nowhere else to be.

    So isn’t right here really a moment? And conversely, does there ever really exist?

    A moment, listening to the cicada, hearing the cars go by, on an October evening in the year 2008. Thinking about here and there. That’s where I am. And I gotta tell you; I hear the cicadas a lot more when I am really here.

    So in my mind’s eye, when I’m thinking about the economy, the election, tasks I want to complete, trying to some how inimitably shape my own future (as if I have any control over that) I am thinking about this place called there, and often, this future thinking that I engage in, means I miss the here moments.

    Does that happen to you too? Do you often miss the here moments?

    Yes, I realize there’s this thing called time. As leaders, we need to be in this place, or we need to be on that call or in a very important meeting. And yet, time passes by whether we’re perfectly still in front of our computers or watching a sunset; or we move from place to place while going from meeting to meeting or climbing a mountain.

    No matter how hard we try to focus on either the past or the future, we only ever experience – or anticipate or relive – single moments.

    I’m not saying planning or making goals are bad. Not at all. Goals allow leaders to focus for a moment. And take the time, in that single moment to reflect on what they’re doing  and what they’re not doing. Isn’t that what “aha moments” really are? I love to create an intention for where I’m aiming. Instead of wandering aimlessly and being in a sort of mindless reactive mode. So I’m all for making goals.

    And yet it’s not some future place where leaders will be that we can finally put our feet up and say…

    “Here I am; now I’m finally exactly where I want to be and everything is perfect.”

    Actually, it’s just a slight shift in perspective when we realize we’re always in one single moment. And everything really is perfect.

    And especially for leaders, that moment is NOW.

    www.yes2yes.com

    Categorized in Blogroll, Corporate Coaching, adult development, coaching, leadership, leadership development, positive and presence
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    Reboot Your Mind for more POSITIVE Leadership

    September 10, 2008 - Leave a Response

    A few years ago, following a Georgetown Leadership Coaching alumni conference led by Rick Tamlyn, author of The Bigger Game I was inspired to renew my practice of meditation.

    Originally, I was introduced to meditation in college. Over the years, I dabbled with meditation as a way to manage stress. I would fit it into my day whenever it was convenient. Now thanks to that serendipitous moment with Rick Tamlyn, meditation has become an essential component of my life right along with exercise.

    What made me get serious about adding meditation to my already full and busy life?

    The simple act of “pausing” for a defined period of time each day brings a profound impact on my state of mind. It allows me to keep an open mind to the present and be a more effective leader.

    It’s a way to pause the constant stream of thoughts long enough to gain clarity, and choose thoughts more consciously. It can lead to enormous peace — even under the most stressful of circumstances. Plus, with improved concentration and thoughtfulness, it can increase the passion I devote toward the results I really want.

    The investment I make in meditation has allowed me to reap benefits far greater than I ever imagined.

    Meditation is custom-made for leaders and executives.

    University of Pennsylvania neuroscientists, Amishi Jha and Michael Baime, found that even for those brand new to meditation, the results were impressive. Participants in their research demonstrated enhanced performance, the ability to focus attention and improved ability to what Han and Baime described as… “keeping participants’ attention at the ready.”

    In even as little as five to 30 minutes daily, these Penn researchers found meditation to improve attention and focus for those with heavy demands on their time.

    So how are executives finding the time to add meditation into their already jam-packed lives? Rather than add an additional “to do” — they incorporate meditation into their normal routines.

    I’ve written a short guide to answer this common question. It’s called Clearing Your Mind for Successful Leadership: 5 Minutes to Positive Meditation. It offers a simple, no-nonsense approach to get you started with your own meditation practice.

    I’d love to share a copy with you. Request your copy today and I’ll also add you as a free subscriber to my Positive Visions e-letter.

    Keeping an open mind, being more fully present – and “re-booting” your mind regularly through meditation – can have tangible benefits for your own sustainability and your relationships with those you serve as a leader.

    GET YOUR FREE GUIDE NOW

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